Forbes Magazine has produced a list of the United States, ranked in order of healthiness. Indiana did not finish very well, more than likely due to the number of smokers in our fair state. Vermont turned out to be the healthiest state which upset me no end. I have a bone to pick with that state but have not yet had the opportunity to do so. 

Some years ago, Susie and I were on our way to Acadia National Park and when I was deciding what route to take, I thought it would be nice to go through Vermont, having heard many stories about it’s picturesque landscape. As is my practice, I called ahead to a motel in a small town in VT. My trip calculations had us arriving there around four o’clock in the evening, a good time to stop after a long day of driving. 

I made a guaranteed reservation for that day and told the fellow to keep a light on for us even though I knew we’d be there long before dark. My trip calculations are normally faultless but not that day. Our route took us through the Adirondack mountains and Susie insisted on stopping at every little mountain overlook and scenic village in Upper New York State. 

By the time we arrived at our motel, it was nine o’clock and I was dog tired, wanting only to imbibe in a light refreshment and take a hot shower.

I checked in, with the clerk telling me we had gotten the last available room. When I went to sign my credit cartd slip, I noticed that the room charge had doubled from what was quoted to me earlier.

I protested mightilyand threatened to leave but to no avail. The gentleman explained that this was supposed to be a slow night but the leaves had begun to turn earlier than normal and all of Vermont was swamped with leaf admirers. There were no rooms to be had in probably the whole state. 

“Supply and demand.” He chuckled.

He had me but I swore I’d get my revenge someday. I was going to tell the world about the double dealing crooked Vermonters but I never did. Every time I started to write something, I sounded like some sore loser.  I gave up, vowing instead to bide my time until a good revenge idea popped up.

 We’ve been back to Acadia a couple of times since then but I avoided Vermont because I had not yet thought of a way to exact my revenge. 

Now it’s probably too late. The state is full of healthy people and while I feel pretty good, I doubt that I could take on any slim, non-smoking Vermonters; those Green Mountain boys would probably beat the crap out of me.